Years ago, I had the urge to start a blog to write my heart’s longings for myself and this world, to organize my thoughts and share my insights, and last but not least, to document my journey toward wholeness. As you can see, it has taken me quite a long time to begin. The number of times that I sat down to start the process of “How to start a blog,” I became increasingly overwhelmed. The feeling of hopeless helplessness became a regular occurrence whenever I thought about how stuck I was. To know that life was passing me by as I couldn’t get myself together enough to function like half of a human, persistently trying hard to fight the voice inside telling me “I will never figure it out. Give it up already.” At some point in adolescence, I was taught the importance of using my gifts. I learned that every person has gifts that they were born with, it pleases God when we use them for His glory, and that if we don’t use them, we lose them. In my 40’s, I have labeled myself as having that diagnosis of “failure to launch.” Every dream I’ve had has been crushed or has felt too far out of reach to even get my hopes up for. But, what I am learning now, is that THIS is my gift. The fear that has kept me incapacitated is only an emotional response from past trauma. If I never use my gift or do the things my heart aches for, I am not actually protecting myself from anything; I am only preventing myself from EVERYTHING. I can acknowledge that I am afraid, but the way to change my sadness to wholeness is by being brave in the face of my fear. So this is my contribution to myself and to all who need to hear my story today. We don’t know each other yet, but something I am sure about is that I am still here on this earth BECAUSE OF YOU. You are who keeps me fighting and striving to heal myself so that I might one day be able to show you that no matter how irrevocably broken you feel, how many doors seem to slam in your face. there is ALWAYS a way out of the dark and you have SUCH an important purpose. Let me hold your hand while we walk through this together. ❤️
2 thoughts on “I will be brave even when I am afraid.”
Thank you Emmy for being vulnerable, telling your truth and sharing your gift!
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Thank you Mom. I couldn’t do it without you and the place we made it to in our relationship. I am so grateful for you. ♥️
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